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To achieve real happiness and success it is vital that an individual possesses his/her reasonable share of both self esteem and personal confidence. Unfortunately however there are those who for a variety of reasons lack both self esteem and self confidence and as a result often find it difficult to achieve their desired goals. Almost by default therefore, these individuals often tend to be unhappy, fearful and dissatisfied with life in general.
Consequently, taking steps to increase self esteem and self confidence is an absolute necessity; failure to do so can only add to an individual's inability to see himself/herself as being just as good or as deserving as another; thus reinforcing what might be described as a self-destructive mindset.
A first but extremely important step for someone with low self esteem is to analyse their inner view of themselves. They need to consider for instance, the past and try to discern when their feelings of inadequacy and self doubt first surfaced. Where they were and what was happening at that time in their lives. If they can get back to that single place and time and recognize the initial trigger it will give them a starting point from which to work. In some cases however, dependent upon the depth and extremity of the individual's insecurity it may be worthwhile to consult a counselor or psychologist, who can provide a high level of professional guidance and support for that person.
Alternatively, for those who recognize that they have a problem but wish to deal with it on their own terms, self analysis is the best option. It should be borne in mind however, that in order to successfully carry out self analysis, an individual will need to be very open and honest with himself/herself. Self deception will only succeed in failure as a true view of the issues at the root of the matter will not be forthcoming to the individual undertaking the exercise. Open exploration of the individual's personality, views, opinions, fears etc should be all up for open and honest self-examination.
Conversely, in order to explore reasons for a lack of confidence an individual must consider their achievements and successes to date. To assist in this process they should make a list of a minimum of five accomplishments of which they are proud. For instance they might have excelled in their first job, they may have been part of a successful team and worked well in that environment, they might have encouraged someone else to achieve his or her goals; undertaken courses to improve career opportunities and so on.
On considering past achievements an individual may find he/she has proved himself/herself to be highly flexible when recalling the many occasions upon which he/she was required to step into a colleague's post to provide temporary cover. He/she may also discover that he/she is considered a valued member of staff and an asset to the employer.
Further examples of achievements might include instances when the individual may have assisted in the induction and training of new staff at his/her place of work; or may have shown empathy and understanding when he/she provided a certain level of moral support to new staff members, making what is normally a potentially stressful experience, a more pleasant and relaxed affair.
Personal accomplishments can be so easily forgotten unless the individual takes action to consciously keep them in mind. Consequently, many times the individual suffering from a lack of confidence and low self esteem forgets all about the positive actions they have previously performed. Not unsurprisingly, such an individual tends to become unable to appreciate that they may have any personal self worth. Inevitably this state affairs often leads to the individual centering all their energies on what they perceive to be their failures or weaknesses; thus reducing levels of confidence and self esteem even further in an ever increasing downward spiral.
If however, an individual recognizes that he/she will need to break this self destructive cycle if she/he is ever going to feel happy and fulfilled then said individual can start by taking some control of the situation and initiating a plan of action. It should be noted that self confidence can be substantially increased and developed but it will require the individual concerned to make the decision to embrace a new mindset and approach to the way they view themselves. In other words, when tempted to denigrate or undermine some personal accomplishment, they must stop and recognize that they are sabotaging their potential for personal growth. They should therefore, consciously adopt a more positive outlook to their achievements, no matter how inconsequential these may first appear.
Furthermore, goal setting is an absolute necessity to those wishing to boost their confidence levels. Small, initial, successes will enhance an individual's overall outlook with the result that he/she almost by default builds up a more positive impression of himself/herself. Consequently, the individual will naturally project a more assertive and accomplished persona to colleagues, friends or even family members.
Setting goals to increase self esteem and confidence is not difficult. An individual may begin by making a list of relatively easy to achieve targets, for example volunteering to assist a friend or colleague with some project or activity that person is working on; or even enrolling on a course to expand his/her career qualifications. Whatever the targets set, the individual desiring to develop self esteem and personal confidence, needs to recognize and embrace all positive aspects of his/her daily life while actively rejecting any temptation to subscribe to negativity.
In conclusion, it is worthwhile to note that positive thinking encourages positive outcomes no matter what area of life is being considered. Drive and determination is an unbeatable team. Those individuals who make the decision to adopt this winning combination and apply them to their daily lives will find they very quickly meet and even outstrip their original goal for the development of their self confidence and self esteem. Consequently, such an individual will very likely go on to experience a real sense of happiness and fulfilment as their confidence and self esteem increase with the fullness of time.
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